Berry's Biscuits for the Blue

I've been called competitive, and I suppose I am on some level, although; I assure you that I'm neither mean-spirited, nor dishonest in my gaming pursuits. In fact, I've always believed that a cheater never wins. Why? Well, how in the heck can one who is not even playing the game actually win the game? Most competitions involve rules by which a win can be obtained. Cheaters can, at best, only create the illusion of a win. I have never had any interest whatsoever in that. Good grief, I figure about anyone ought to be able to accomplish a false win (otherwise known as a loss.) What a waste of time to practice honing the skill of deception when few things require less thinking or ability. These days, more often than not, I find myself competing against my personal best with little regard for what my counterparts may be up to. In fact, I hope that they, too, are winning! I do, however; recall a time in the 4th grade when I definitely was fine with everyone else having a red or yellow ribbon, or even no ribbon at all. 

It was March of 1973, and I was 11 years old when I entered a baking contest while participating in the Henry County 4-H Club. From the first mention of the competition there was no doubt in my mind that I would bake and enter Berry’s biscuits for a sure win! Now, my mama and sisters cautioned against my choice suggesting that I might do better with something more widely appreciated and less risky like a dessert-- maybe a good ole fashioned apple pie or a buttery pound cake. I would have no part of their ideas.  My decision was firm, and, as far as I was concerned, an unequivocal winner.

Being from the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, and by the fourth grade, relocated to the foothills, I knew I had a wealth of biscuit-eating experience, and I figured that all of the judges had also enjoyed many a biscuit in their days. I was also no less than 100% certain that none they had ever tasted could begin to approach the pure goodness of the light, golden delicious hunks of heaven that were Berry’s biscuits. I got her on the phone, and to her utter delight, I carefully took down her recipe and explicit instructions. I ended that call knowing that I had the 1973 annual 4-H baking contest all wrapped up, and that the coveted, first place, blue ribbon would surely be mine!

No sooner said than done! Feast your eyes on this well-documented accomplishment.

I bet you wish I'd share the recipe! Oh, it's just a handful of this, a pinch of that, a dollop here, and a smidgen there mixed, worked, and kneaded then rolled, cut, and baked into the best biscuits I've had to this very day.

Room to Make Her Big Mistakes

A new year brings anticipation and excitement about all of the growth in store for me. That anticipation provokes reflection, and I ponder where I've come from and where I'm headed next. Having achieved my fifty year milestone in the final weeks of 2012, this year's self-assessment has been a bit more profound, prompting a full review of my adult life including major decisions and the outcomes of those decisions. So what's on my agenda moving forward?

Improvement. Personal improvement -- physical, mental, emotional, spiritual improvement.  That’s the goal of the next 30 years. What was the goal of the last 30? Personal Improvement--physical, mental, emotional, spiritual improvement. Okay, so on a scale of one to ten with ten being the greatest how would I rate myself on my goal over the last 30 years?  Why, a TEN, of course!

Thirty years ago I was an ambitious, 20-year-old who had moved away from my home in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia to the Tidewater region which includes the three largest cities in the state--Virginia Beach, Norfolk, and Chesapeake--and is home to over a million people. This area is literally about as far away from Collinsville (population of maybe 7000) as one can be while remaining within the state of Virginia. I remember making my decision to relocate as though it was twenty minutes ago.

Collinsville rarely makes the map, but it's a little town located about 60 miles south of Roanoke.

It was 1983, and I was enrolled at Patrick Henry Community College -- a Dean’s List student with aspirations to become an English Professor. I had just begun the second semester of my sophomore year, and I was living at home with my mother and younger sister. I had taken a part-time job at a knitting mill where I pressed, folded, and stored sweatshirts. I loved the new knowledge derived from a variety of college courses, and didn’t love the monotony of second shift factory work.

It was a Friday evening in February when, while lying in bed listening to the old clock/radio my dad had given me, I heard the radio announcer stating that Roanoke, the largest city in the Piedmont region where I lived, was experiencing the highest unemployment rate in the state at over 8% with the lowest unemployment rate in the Tidewater area. I envisioned happy, bustling folks over at the coast having employment options while I was limited to a mundane factory position. I've always preferred room to maneuver. I need options. Sure, I did love school, but I needed employment to survive, and I figured if I could continue my education in Collinsville, I could do it in Norfolk just as well. It was becoming fairly clear to me that I should probably relocate myself. Over the weekend, my thoughts were around this potential move, and on Sunday evening, I told my mother that I would be moving to the coast on the coming Wednesday.

On Wednesday, February 9, 1983, I rose at about 5AM to find that my mother had “slept,” apparently, in an upright position, with her light on all night. She got up with me. We chatted a bit. I got showered and dressed in a wool suit, grabbed my bag and clock/radio before heading to my car, a 1974 gray Ford Granada. I had loaded up my only other belongings the day before-- clothes, shoes, my journal, a blanket, pillow, and a few toiletries. I had $12. in my pocket, food and water, a full tank of gas, and another $34. in my checking account. 

One might wonder why I had chosen to wear a wool suit on the five-hour road trip to my new life. Well, with a grand total of $46., I would be interviewing for employment immediately upon my arrival. I had no appointments, and with my resume in-hand, was prepared to solicit walk-in interviews within the retail industry. My pastor had given me verbal directions to Norfolk. Raising his arm and bringing his hand back to his shoulder, he said, "Get on 58 east." Then casting his arm forward to full extension, "Stay on it...all the way.” With that in mind, I kissed and hugged my mother and told her that I would not be back to visit for at least six months, but that I would let her know as soon as I was settled and had found work. I was off to begin my new life!  It was, in a word, exhilarating!

"Wide Open Space" written by Susan Gibson and recorded by The Dixie Chicks. Photography by Lea Michelle

Infant Imposes Paradigm Shift

I've been a professional salesperson for about 28 years now. Overall, it's been a satisfying career that has yielded income sufficient to meet my needs and a good many of my wants including my deep desire and intention to maximize my time with my, now, 17-year-old daughter, Abigail, and to fully participate in her life. Remaining engaged in my child's day-to-day growth is the very foundation of my brand of  a mother's love. Fortunately, like many sales folk, I'm also entrepreneurial. My real estate career afforded me the opportunity to work a flexible schedule that enabled me to drive my daughter to and from school, attend her in-school activities and celebrations, volunteer with her schools, church, and clubs, and to have two meals a day with her for most of her life. Those are the things that are most important to me -- what I consider hands-on parenting.  I've never regretted a single moment spent with my child.

"The best thing you can spend on your children is your time." ~Louise Hart

Still, with all of the perks of being in sales, it can be stressful. I had worked myself ragged in preparation to be at home with my baby for the first year and a half of her life. Over time, I learned to reduce stress levels by anticipating and effectively negotiating the inevitable ebbs and flows of an ever-dynamic marketplace--the feast or famine aspect, if you will... and by changing my approach to my business operations. In fact, it was the year that I delivered my daughter that I made the very calculated and firm decision that I would, from that point forward, be running my business rather than allowing my business to run me.

One might suspect that this sort of paradigm shift would create uncertainty and insecurity on a personal level, not to mention professionally. One may certainly question the timing of such a major life change with a new baby depending upon my financial resources derived from a thriving sales career. I'm sure I had many a question and reservation myself. Had my business practices to date not worked well from a profit perspective? Had my business not yielded the means for me to essentially take off to provide primary care for my new baby for the first 18 months of her life? Sure, my mode of operation had exacted a toll, but wasn't that to be chalked up to merely the cost for success?

"Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. ~Howard W. Hunter

Before I became a mother, my business was my top priority--the focal point of my life. There were rarely even a few moments of the day that were truly away from work with ringing phones in the office, at home, in the car, and strapped to my waist. There were many times when I had a handset to one ear and a cell phone to the other if you can imagine that sort of insanity. It was rare to get through a meal uninterrupted let alone a vacation. Everything in my life revolved around serving my clients and customers, and, interestingly enough, that had been acceptable to me right up until the day my daughter was born. You know what they say...having a child changes you.

So what about this shift?  What was the end result for my business and for my life when an 8 pound, 3 ounce infant came along and with one powerful push redefined my list of priorities, placing the business that I had nurtured and coddled, beneath her tiny feet? Curiously, this dramatic shift of priorities allowed me to take my business to a much higher level. Peculiar? Not really. When I decided that my business would not run me, I was forced to get outside of the box in which I had contained myself. This mental and emotional shift required that I develop systems that would give me control of my personal life. Designing, implementing, and executing on those systems contributed to my ability to manage a higher volume of business that resulted in, not only increased revenue, but increased profits, accompanied by what I wanted most, maximized quality time with my child.

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh

Suppertime

I was born in 1962, and spent the first seven years of my life, in the small south-western Virginia town of Hillsville set atop the Blue Ridge Mountains. Both of my parents came from farmers, and my early childhood was largely around gardening, preserving, and cooking. Berry, the woman who raised my mother, vigorously worked her half-acre garden from the time she could get a hoe in the ground until the first frost. No matter how early ole man winter set in or how long he tarried, come suppertime Berry would tap into her bounty of preservation to produce a hearty, hot supper for whoever was around between five o'clock and five-thirty.

Berry planted, nurtured, and harvested her crops over three seasons. She put up corn, carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, kale, collards, spinach, mustard greens, peas, lima and green beans, beets, pickles, strawberries, peaches, apples, raspberries, blackberries, rhubarb, relish, applesauce, apple butter, and jam of every sort. She was quite disciplined, and her rigid work schedule was critical to her success. 

During the high gardening season, Berry was up before the rooster, had finished breakfast by six, and after a trip down the road to fetch a couple of pails of water, was in her garden just as her morning glories were awakening. She took a mid-morning break at about 9:30 a.m. when she might put on a pot of beans for supper before taking to her glider for a spell--usually with an apple and a paring knife. Then she was back at it--hoeing, weeding, sowing, gathering, washing, snapping, peeling, chopping, canning, freezing, storing. This woman, at age 65 was nearly single-handedly producing and stockpiling enough food to carry three families through the winter and into the next spring with some to spare.

Berry paused for dinner at midday. Dinner was a lighter meal, maybe a tomato sandwich and apple sauce, or cornbread and buttermilk. After dinner Berry was back to her work. Sometimes she took an afternoon break depending upon heat, her workload, and rain predictions. If she had a little time to spare, she might spend a few minutes bringing in clothes from the line or dust mopping her floors, but these tasks would have to take a backseat to Berry's garden. Come what may, by four o'clock, or thereabout, most days Berry was in for the evening to be found in her kitchen where she would spend the next hour fixing the biggest meal of a southern farmer's day, supper.

Berry at age 74, still gardening, still gliding, still stringing and snapping her beans for supper.